


Patience and Competence

by kaworusdickadick



Category: Durarara!!
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, M/M, a twist??/, did i mention shizaya, i had a mental breakdown and i wrote this while trying not to die, it might be short but it's fluffy i promise, its a happy fic i promise, moral of the story shizaya is my coping mechanism, why
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-24
Updated: 2019-03-24
Packaged: 2019-12-06 21:37:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 851
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18225737
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kaworusdickadick/pseuds/kaworusdickadick
Summary: Izaya is contemplaiting suicide.He realises that he's not the same desparate,alone,scared teen.





	Patience and Competence

Izaya got up from the blinds warm embrace.

Slowly and carefully to not disturb his lover.

He went up to his bedroom and looked through his stuffed bedside table,picking up the bottle of pills he kept in there since his high school days.

 

He looked at the bottle,and imagined once more what would happen if he-what will happen if he commits to this decision,this madness that hunted him down.

 

Would the pain and the suffering he endured all these years go away?

 

Will the things he conquered-the things he created just be forgotten?

 

What would happen if he took the pills?

He would savor them one by one, tasting the melancholy that has been killing him these last 27 years.He took the bottle and he walked down the stairs of his enormous apartment,the apartment that he and Shizuo shared countless memories in.

 

Some of them bad,but some of them quite pleasant.No-Izaya promised to be honest in his last moments.Izaya treasured the moments he shared with Shizuo.

Izaya treasured Shizuo.

 

He trully did.

 

He panned over to his soulmate,that was sleeping peacefully on his black leather coach covered in a fluffy blanket.

 

Izaya remembers the day they moved in together.

Shizuo was so excited about decorating "their" apartment.

Izaya could still see Shizuo's warm smile when he blabbed about god knows what.

The same smile that kept Izaya alive.

 

Until now.

 

He opened the doors of his balcony and he looked down at the people swarming the town.Izaya loved staring at the lively streets of Ikebukuro.

Ikebukuro was a town with countless secrets,and different varieties of people.

Yet Izaya always thought that even with the large amount of people that lives in Ikebukuro,it was a lonely town.

 

And Izaya fit right in.

 

He loomed over the balcony as the town was showered by the breathtaking moonlight.

People running around,women,men of all kinds of ages and sizes laugh with their lived ones.Past Izaya would be envious of that.

 

Even now,it took him awhile to realize that he wasn't alone anymore.

 

Someone gave him a chance.

 

Shizuo Heiwajima.

 

His arch nemesis.

 

Was he really going to give that man up?Was he really going to hurt him like this?

Izaya could see it,a confused and exhausted Shizuo searching around the apartment looking for his lover.He could imagine him going to shinra, begging him to help.

He could see the terrified and pained expression of desperation on his face when Shinra tells him he doesn't know anything about the raven's where-abouts.

The face of a broken man,gazing upon his dead lover's body.

 

Izaya looked at the bottle.

 

His hands were cold.They were trembling and sweating.

He was scared.He was desperate.He opened the bottle and put the first pill in his hand ready to take it.

 

_ "I'm so used to losing the things I love.Wherever i actually get attached to someone I get close to them.Too closed to them.And I ended up hurting them.” _

Shizuo's voice echoed in his brain.

 

_ No. _

 

_ "Every time." _

 

Shizuo wiped his tears and looked up.

 

_ "But not you.I won't hurt you.I've loved you for so long.I won't let myself hurt you." _

 

No. He can't-He can't hurt this man.

 

Izaya looked at Shizuo once more.

 

He looked at his long beautiful eyelashes twitch lightly as he sleeped like an angel.

He looked at his freckled nose,his slightly sunburned cheeks.Finally he looked over at Shizuo's soft lips.Oh how he loved kissing Shizuo.Tasting those warm lips while being engulfed in Shizuo's passionate embrace.He watched as his half opened mouth closed as a snorn came out of his lover.He watched as drool fell from his mouth to his chiseled jaw.

 

_ "I love him."  _ Izaya thought.

 

As the realisation dawned over him he chuckled at his own foolish cheesiness.

He made sure to throw the bottle,once and for all.He sat down next to Shizuo,and he immediately felt his lover's hands welcome him.He sighed.It was a pent up sigh.He was done with all this pain.

 

He was going to enjoy his life from no one.

 

No one was going to stop him from achieving happiness.

He had Shizuo.Shizuo's raspy and sleepy whisper interrupted him from his thoughts.

 

_ "Mhm…’zaya what happened?Are ya okay?" _

 

Izaya simply smiled at him.

 

_ "I'm happy Shizu-chan." _

 

Shizuo seemed surprised at izaya's sudden statement but his sleepiness took over.

 

_ "M'glad then.Stay that way for me would ya?" _

 

Shizuo sleepily groglled.They shared a heated look.

 

They were in love.

 

_ "Now shut up and sleep with me.You're warm,flea. _ "

 

_ "Whatever you say Shizu-chan." _

 

_ "And when we wake up,make me that omurice of yours,it was really good last time so I wanna eat share it with you this time." _

 

_ "So you did eat my omurice!" _

 

_ "Mhm,Shut up flea." _

 

Izaya rolled his eyes and smiled.

 

Izaya has Shizuo.

 

And Shizuo has Izaya.

 

And for now,that's all that mattered.

**Author's Note:**

> a bitch is sad.i'm bitch


End file.
